Someone posted an instagram photo of me that was really embarrassing and hurtful. I've asked them to remove it and they said, "relax.... it's just for fun... besides you look pretty in it." What can I do?
Dear Alien,
Cyber bullying is becoming more common because of rapid pace in which technology is growing throughout the world. Remember, that you are not alone. While, it may feel like you are the only one facing this calamity, 1 out of every 4 teens are cyber bullied.
Before you do anything, you need to try and figure out why your cyber bully is bullying you. You're bully might not be aware of the fact that (s)he is hurting you and may just think that (s)he is playing a harmless joke. You're bully might do it to feel better about themselves, which may sound odd, but it's true. It's easy to forget that there is a real life person behind a screen. You're bully may feel depressed or angry and that is the reason behind her/him doing this. (s)he can, without realising, channel his/her feelings onto their words which they type or post. That's why, if you are feeling angry you need to step away or go offline for a while until you feel better so that you are not posting or saying something that you can't take back.
Most bullies think that they are safe behind their computer name and screen but really social networks can quite easily track them down. The second step which you need to do is to keep the evidence. You need to either take a screen shot, save the file or print a hard copy. If the bullying is getting to a point where it is crossing the line, you should report the picture. Most social networks have the option to report the user. This way, you are stoping your cyber bully from harassing you as well as taking away their undeserved privilege to go on the site.
The third step that you need to take is to comment nothing. This may sound odd but commenting nothing makes a huge impact. You need to be rational and think through what's going on. Calm yourself down before going back online because you certainly do not want to type back a mean comment otherwise, that makes you as bad as your bully. Avoid texting, commenting or talking to you're bully. The cyber bully is normally doing this to get a reaction out of you. If you ignore it, (s)he will probably leave you and stop harassing you. Try to distract yourself. Some suggestions are, doing something you love, immersing yourself in a book or a movie, playing with a pet/sibling or going for a run.
The final step that you need to take is to tell an adult. During these times, you will feel torn between telling an adult or not, and will often keep this to yourself because you feel ashamed or have the fear of having your computer/phone privileges taken away. But, telling a trusted adult is always the answer. Even if you think that you can handle the situation yourself, adults will be understanding and will help. Chances are, that your cyber bully is violating a school rule, even if it is done at home, and since your bully belongs to your school - (s)he will probably have to face the consequences. If you tell a trusted adult, they will probably make the bully take down the picture and they will be in serious trouble.
Don't be afraid of your cyber bully and remember these steps. The ultimate goal of a cyber bully is to get a reaction out of you, if you don't give them a reaction, they will leave you alone.
Best of luck!
Bye for now,
Human
Information retrieved from sources:
http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/cyberbullying.html
https://www.brainpop.com/technology/communications/cyberbullying/
