The surprise.
The miniature car gliding across rails,
like an ice skater gliding across the ice.
Suddenly stops,
not supposed to stop,
not supposed to be an ice skater F
A
L
L
I
N
G on ice.
I will make it?
Darkness.
Stars.
Darkness midnight black; stars peaceful white.
S
h
o
w
e
r
s of dread p
o
u
r
i
n
g over me.
Waves of terror crashing on me.
This is a catastrophe.
The shriek,
screaming for help.
Ringing sensation in my ears,
chorus of my voice joining in.
Not a sinking ship.
Am a f l o a t i n g canoe.
Not a caged bird.
Am a f r e e parrot.
Am a f r e e parrot.
I will make it……
This will change,
I will not continue with this catastrophe.
After the ride,
a surge of relief fills my body.
I will make it!
My mind has stopped working,
can’t hear a word,
can’t speak a word,
for a split second.
up
Have gotten again. Am an ice skater gliding gracefully on the ice again. Am through with this catastrophe.
In my poem, I teach readers that when you are scared, you have to brave and get your mind back in the game again. The craft move I use to teach this lesson is a metaphor. I compared me getting stuck on a ride and an ice skater falling on the ice: “The miniature car gliding across rails, like an ice skater gliding across the ice”. “Suddenly stops, not supposed to stop, not supposed to be an ice skater falling on ice.” “Have gotten up again. Am an ice skater gliding gracefully on the ice again.” This evidence proves that I used a metaphor because I am comparing two things. I also realized that unlike my exaggeration below, I am actually going for a little softer example as falling on ice does not exactly add up to getting stuck in the middle of a ride.
This connects to my lesson because I am scared and helpless on the ride that got stuck but I tried to be brave and in the end got my mind thinking, getting myself back in the game again. I was also very frightened but with my friends, we pulled ourselves together and tried to come up with a strategy besides screaming. We all knew that if we tried to calm down and think, we would be fine in the end.
In my poem, another lesson that I teach readers that when you are scared, you think about the negative, you will lose focus of the positive, and will dread the future, missing what is happening in the present. The craft move I use to teach this lesson is a hyperbole. For example, these are the lines that I used to express that I used a hyperbole. “Showers of dread pouring over me.” “Waves of terror crashing on me.” This evidence proves that I used a hyperbole because I exaggerated a lot as showers of dread and waves of terror crashing, is a complete exaggeration of how I felt because my situation would have to be a lot worse to actually feel that way.
This connects to my lesson because I am only focusing on all of the things that could go wrong and am missing out on thinking about all of the good things that could go right but when the ride finally moved I realized that there must of been a camera or something or there must of been a backup plan and that we would in the end get out of the ride safely.
Before this poetry unit, what I didn’t know about myself is that although I am not the biggest fan of reading poetry I enjoy writing poetry. I also realised that writing poetry can be easy if you know the topic and stay focused. Another thing that I learnt is that writing poetry can be a little tricky sometimes if you don’t pay attention to what you're doing. I know that poets sometimes get a little stuck up and now have a new respect for them. Writing poetry was fun and is a whole new level than reading poetry. It creates enjoyment for me and makes me feel as though I am writing my emotions in different fonts and ways(#kwame inspired) and expressing them in a fun way.
